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How to do Kegels
I am sure that I am using the right muscle and squeezing the pelvic floor but it all seems to go wrong when I try the advanced version. I just don't feel it like you say I should. I have done everything to check it is the right muscle and can stop the stream of urine but I am just not feeling it in my perineum and so cannot do the advanced version. I really need to do this as my erection is not as good as it was and I really want to stop it declining further. I go to the gym so I understand the principle behind it all and really feel this could work but I need to know why I don't feel it. Do you think I am using the correct muscle?
Yes, it sounds like you are contracting the right muscle and I am sure it is working – it may be that you do not feel it as much, either due to a weak contraction or simply due to feeling in the wrong place. If it is due to a weak contraction – this will very soon improve and become more forceful so keep on practicing – just forget the advanced version for a while. If you are feeling it inside that is all that matters.
Some possible reasons that you may not be feeling it are (in order of importance):
Whatever position you adopt - whether crouching, squatting, sitting or lying down - bring your knees as close to your chest as you can.
When trying to detect the contraction - try placing your finger tips nearer to your scrotum or anus, you may feel it in a different region of your perineum.
Enjoy the few minutes you give to yourself when doing this – purely focus upon squeezing that muscle.
Sense rather than feel – ensure you are totally relaxed. Take yourself off somewhere private, close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing. Keeping every part of your body relaxed and your eyes closed gently squeeze, hold, squeeze a bit more and relax. Concentrate upon the feelings within your body and you can probably sense the muscle working.
Relax as much as you can – don't hold your breath or use any other muscle, particularly legs or buttocks.
Further help with kegels here
Keep practicing and enjoy. Let me know how it goes.